Roomie quotes

• I love Chipotle. Don’t talk about Chipotle like that. That is not the C word.
• I want to be a smitten kitten. 
• You made her pray for nothing.
• So what if I come home from a long day of classes and want a Jamba Juice and a crack pipe? 
• Wait am I naked? I’m too afraid to look down, tell me if I’m naked.
• Just shut up and vacuum. 
• Ahh, I hope you guys get married. 
• Are you making fun of me… internally? 
• I’m pretty sure if you type in friends, stripper and Danny Devito, it will be blocked.
• These are my sea shorts. Want to see them swim? (Shakes hips violently) 
• I’m going to throw up because you’re slapping your stomach and saying ‘cream cheese’.